By Dr. Nour Al Ghriwati, Founder & Clinical Psychologist at CAYA Care

This week marked the start of the school year for many families across the world, and with school starting, many parents find themselves dealing with a mix of excitement and anxiety. For both parents and children, the transition from summer to school can be challenging. It’s common for kids to experience school-related anxiety, which can manifest in various ways. I wanted to take some time here to provide valuable tips to help your children ease into the school year and address any anxiety they may be feeling.

Understanding School-Related Anxiety

School-related anxiety can take many forms, including:

1. Separation Anxiety: Younger children may have a tough time separating from their parents or caregivers, leading to tears and resistance during drop-off. This can cause distress for both the child and the parent, and we usually see morning drop-offs taking a longer time in these situations.
2. Social Anxiety: Some kids may feel nervous about making new friends or interacting with classmates, which can impact their self-esteem. “What will children say when they see me?” “What if they think I look weird?” “What if I am being judged right now?” are some thoughts we hear from our kids with social anxiety.
3. Academic Anxiety: Worries about grades, tests, and homework can cause stress and anxiety, especially in older students. For some students, a grade below a 90 is no big deal and for others, it causes a great level of distress.
4. General Anxiety: Children can experience a general sense of unease about school, often accompanied by physical symptoms like stomachaches or headaches. Some of these kiddos worry about using the restroom or filling their waterbottle at school, and often times, they may come home tearful or more irritable than usual.

Tips for Parents:

1. Open Communication: Create an open and safe space for your child to express their thoughts and feelings about school. Ask open-ended questions like, “What are you looking forward to this school year?” and “Is there anything that worries you about school?” Share (honestly) that you sometimes used to feel scared after a long break and what helped you cope with going back to school.
2. Visit the School: If possible, take your child to visit the school before the first day. Familiarity with the environment can reduce anxiety. Walk around the campus, visit the classroom, and maybe even meet the teacher. For some of our children, collaborating with the school to have the child help the teacher with preparing the class or just meeting the teacher on a teacher work-day goes a long way!
3. Establish Routines: Create a consistent daily routine that includes time for homework, meals, and relaxation. Routines help children feel secure and reduce unpredictability. Let the child know that, even with mild distress, he/she is expected to go to school and maintain this routine.
4. Set Realistic Expectations: Discuss academic expectations with your child and ensure they understand that mistakes are part of the learning process. Encourage a growth mindset by emphasizing effort and progress over perfection. When a child gets a grade below what they or you expected, discuss how proud you are of their hard work and not about the final grade.
5. Healthy Lifestyle: Promote a healthy lifestyle by encouraging regular exercise, a balanced diet, and adequate sleep. Physical well-being can positively impact mental health. This is also a chance to work on one-on-one time with your child. I get it – we are all busy parents and families and phones don’t make things easier – but even 15 minutes of uninterrupted positive one-on-one time (tech free) has been shown by research to provide many mental health benefits!!!
6. Limit Screen Time: Excessive screen time can contribute to anxiety. Set boundaries on screen time and encourage face-to-face social interactions.
7. Teach Coping Strategies: Help your child develop coping strategies for dealing with anxiety. Techniques like deep breathing, mindfulness, or drawing can be effective tools. Ask me about hot chocolate breathing one day – I use it myself with my kids all the time!
8. Positive Reinforcement: Acknowledge your child’s efforts and achievements, no matter how small. Positive reinforcement boosts their self-esteem and confidence. For gradual exposures to feared situations, a reward plan can go a long way!

Addressing Specific Types of Anxiety:

• Separation Anxiety: Gradually ease separation by starting with shorter periods away from your child and gradually extending the time. Reassure them that you will return. Offer specific events related to your return. For example, you may say something like: “Once you finish your lunch and nap, I will be here to pick you up.” or “I’m usually here to pick you up just after you are done wrapping up math.” Discuss fun and rewarding activities once you pick them up for them tolerating the separation well – they did hard work by dealing with their big feelings!
• Social Anxiety: Encourage your child to participate in extracurricular activities, which can help them make friends with similar interests. Role-play social situations to build their confidence. For example, pretend to be a friend asking them a question they are worried they might get and work with your child to formulate possible answers that they may give.
• Academic Anxiety: Offer assistance with homework and assignments without taking over. Encourage your child to seek help from teachers if needed. If your child has any learning problems or problems with attention or if the anxiety is interfering with their school performance, please do seek out help from a licensed clinical psychologist. Your child may be able to get accommodations at school to help them perform to the best of their abilities.
• General Anxiety: If your child’s anxiety persists or worsens, consider seeking professional help from a psychologist or therapist who specializes in working with children. Cognitive behavioral therapy is an evidence-based therapy for helping kids deal with anxiety and we’ve seen it help hundreds of the children we work with on a daily basis!

Conclusion

The back-to-school season can be an exciting time for both parents and children. By implementing these tips and addressing school-related anxiety head-on, parents can help their children navigate the challenges of the new school year with confidence and resilience. Remember, open communication, routine, and support are key to a successful transition to school.

YOU are the expert on your child – if at any time you have concerns or further questions, please seek a professional consultation or help with a psychologist, school counselor, or other mental health professional.

Best of luck for what we hope will be an amazing school year!!!!